"Keep More Power"

Phillip was hired by an Atlanta-based company because of his expert IT skills and experience. He liked his new job and colleagues, and he felt satisfied with what he provided for the organization.

He was rewarded for his contributions with more opportunities to impact the company's bottom line. Phillip’s boss often asked him to put in extra hours to attract prospective clients.

To keep from disappointing his boss, Phillip took on more hours than he really wanted to, leaving him less time to spend with his family. He began to feel as if his boss expected him to work more hours. After more than a year with the company, a salary increase had never been discussed.

Phillip started to blame his boss for the increasing lack of balance in his life. He began to like his job less and considered quitting to get away from what he thought was an unreasonable boss.

What was Phillip’s self-sabotaging behavior?

Phillip didn't tell his boss about his frustration because he feared displeasing him. Phillip put himself in this position by forfeiting the control over his sense of well-being.

How can pausing help Phillip keep the power?

  • It will allow Phillip to see how being a people pleaser puts him in situations he doesn’t want to be in.
  • He can gain insight into how his self-handicapping behavior contributes to his feelings of frustration and powerlessness.

What would be the effect if Phillip started to keep the power?

  • His resentment and victim mentality would decrease.
  • He would gain more power to choose how he wants to invest his time and energy.
  • He would experience more joy in his work which would make him more productive.


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